Another way of putting children in the crossfire is to punish your ex over time with silent disdain.This hurtful form of incivility forces children of divorce into walking on eggshells around the bitter, estranged parent — and being re-traumatized by the ever-present tension and animosity they pick up on. Violent Aggression Statistics show that domestic violence and spousal murder are pandemic in our society.“’Mom, if he never hit or cheated on you, you should stay,’ he’d argue.” 2.Your children, family and friends may be “siding” with your ex.Doing these things will prevent things from escalating into destructive, dangerous and hurtful behaviors, protect your children, restore your integrity, activate your resilience and set the table for a better future: 1. The false promise of revenge is that it’s going to make you feel better. Both of you share some of the responsibility for what happened and owning up to your part is the best insurance it will not happen again in your next relationship. Some ex’s are masters at convincing everybody that you’re the bad guy who gave up on your marriage — and that they are the victim.“My son was furiously angry with me for leaving his father” one woman reported.The pain and rage of marital conflicts escalate to a boiling point — and someone gets hurt.The cruelty, brutality, incivility and trauma caused by vengeful violence can perpetuate a lifetime of mayhem. Slander and Public Shaming Discrediting and disgracing an ex by perpetuating lies, exposing secrets and exaggerating transgressions are designed to permanently damage their reputation.
Insecure, low self-esteem and sociopathic ex’s can temporarily bolster their ego’s and feel better about themselves by doing this.QUESTION: Biblically speaking, is it ever ok to be friends with ex-lovers, or keep gifts, mementos, or pictures from past non-marital relationships, if you're headed toward marriage with another person?I met and love a young lady, who has kept up a verbal relationship with her most recent boyfriend (before me) for most of our relationship.Both of you, and your children, deserve a chance to go on with your lives and find happiness again.Letting go and moving on with our lives happens when we put the past behind us, stop playing the victim, take responsibility for our part, forgive ourselves and our partner for not knowing/doing better, show one another respect and allow ourselves to feel sorrow for the bad and gratitude for the good (including children) that came from our time together. D., founder of The Jenna Druck Center in San Diego, is a renowned resilience expert, speaker, organizational and family consultant, and award-winning author of several books including, The Real Rules of Life (Hay House).